


I Think It's Time

by TardisLady40



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-12-01 19:15:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20871770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisLady40/pseuds/TardisLady40
Summary: Warning: This story will contain dark themes and discussions of depression.The Doctor knows that she's been strong but for too long and it's time she goes to tell a professional.





	I Think It's Time

The Doctor ends up telling her team that she needs some time to travel alone at least for a few weeks, they all seem concerned but she reassures them everything is okay. However, deep down everything is not okay and the doctor's feelings have been eating away slowly at her. She really wants someone to turn to but doesn't know who, she's supposed to be the strong one. She has been feeling so weak emotionally and it's wreaking havoc on her body physically as well. She feels like she can't tell anyone about her emotional or physical pain, I mean who would really truly understand it? She decides to travel back to the spot where she lost River Song, she wants to tell River what's going on. She takes the Tardis and heads back to the exact spot, once she sees River, she looks at her smiling. River isn't sure who this person is, but the doctor explains everything to her, telling her that she's the doctor after a regeneration. River looks very surprised but still very pleased. "So nice to see you again sweetie." She says. "Look, I came here cause I had to tell you one last thing." River looks a bit concerned and steps closer to the doctor, "I'm all ears." The doctor explains how she's been feeling down and like she can't tell anyone, she explains how she's kinda clueless as to what she should do. River kindly suggests maybe seeing a Psychologist. The doctor seems reluctant at first but then does agree and thanks River. She lets River know how much she loves her and misses her, before heading off in the Tardis again. 

The doctor heads back to Sheffield, and finds the perfect place to go to see a Psychologist. She calls and schedules her appointment and to her surprise they can get her in that same day! The doctor feels nervous but knows that it's what she needs to do. She knows that it's not healthy to hold these feelings in, but she doesn't want to burden her friends or annoy them with her problems. She knows that her true friends most likely wouldn't be annoyed but it's how the doctor has always been. The time arrives for her to go, she slowly walks inside, smiling at the other people. A nurse takes the doctor back to the room where she'll meet the Psychologist. The doctor sits in the chair in the room, fiddling with her fingers, while nervously waiting. Suddenly, the door opens, which causes the doctor to jump a bit! A woman walks in who looks almost identical to River Song, the doctor can't help but stare for a moment. "Hello, I'm Rachel and I'll be your Psychologist." She gives the doctor a nice warm smile and the doctor returns it. "I'm, well you can just call me the doctor." Rachel looks surprised, "Oh are you in the medical profession?" The doctor laughs slightly, "No it's just a name that I've always preferred to be called." Rachel sits down on top of her desk in front of the doctor. "Okay, then that is exactly what I will call you." Rachel is wearing a black suit with a white blouse underneath. Again, the doctor stares at her for a moment, still overwhelmed by her looking just like her late wife. "So doctor, what exactly are you here for today?" The doctor bites her lip from nerves, "Well, I'm not usually the one who needs help but I feel like lately I can't talk to people about my problems." Rachel nods her head while listening, "Well, then you came to the right place!" Rachel grabs her coffee mug and takes a sip, "So what exactly are you feeling?" The doctor looks down for a moment then back up at Rachel, "I get depressed because I've seen so much in my life, I've loved more and lost more than most people." Rachel writes things down on a notepad as the doctor tells her. "Why do you think that you've loved more and lost more than most people?" The doctor starts bouncing her leg up and down as she sits in the chair, "Well, thing is I'm old, and I'm talking like really old!" Rachel lets out a slight giggle, even though she probably shouldn't, "You can't be that old, I mean look at you!" The doctor laughs, "Well, in my previous form I was 2,000 years old, so trust me I'm old!" Rachel looks a bit confused, "I'm sorry but what do you mean by previous form, do you feel you've had a past life?" The doctor nods, "I most certainly have." Rachel takes more notes, "So this long life has taken a toll on your emotions?" The doctor nods before speaking, "Also sometimes I feel physical pain, which in turn makes me feel emotional because some days I just don't want to do anything!" The doctor sighs and Rachel thinks before speaking to her, "So what kind of physical pain do you feel and also how come you feel you can't share this with your close friends?" The doctor rubs her leg nervously with the palm of her hand, her hands start sweating a bit. "I get a lot of neck pain and sometimes it's from stress, I feel I can't tell anyone because I don't want to burden anyone, I'm sure they wouldn't wanna hear it anyway." 

Rachel takes more notes and looks the doctor in the eyes. "Look, I'm sure your true friends wouldn't feel that you are a burden and you shouldn't feel like you can't be your true self around them." Rachel continues, "It's never wrong to feel weak, you don't have to pretend to be strong all the time or to be happy all the time." The doctor grins slightly, feeling more at ease after telling the Psychologist her feelings. "You know just telling you all of this is lifting a huge weight off of my shoulders and it's making my neck feel better." Rachel smiles, "That is why it's important to let it out and tell someone because after you let go of what's bothering you or what's hurting, it can actually make you feel better both physically and mentally." Rachel writes more things down before continuing, "I'm really glad you came here and I hope you continue to come, later today I will be sending you home with some papers on how to better cope with your feelings." The doctor is about to speak but Rachel starts again, "I'm going to tell you, how to let go of those fears, of telling people how you feel and to just speak up about it." The doctor smiles, "Thank you so much for this!" Rachel smiles before a serious look strikes again, "Now I do have to ask you this, have you felt suicidal because of holding in your feelings?" The doctor thinks for a moment before speaking, "Not really but I just felt like I had to tell someone or I'd go crazy!" Rachel takes more notes, "That's a very common thing to feel, again why it's important to let those feelings out and tell someone close to you." Rachel places her hand on top of the doctor's and squeezes it gently, "Now, I do have to know, once our sessions are up, is there anyone, anyone that you think you can tell exactly how you feel?" Rachel continues again, "Anyone that you know, won't judge you for your mental or physical health?" The doctor places her hand on her chin thinking, "Yes, I have Yaz, she wouldn't judge me!" Rachel smiles warmly, "Okay that's great, then be sure to open up to Yaz seeing you already seem to know that she wouldn't judge you." The doctor places her hands over her face covering it for a moment, "I'm such an idiot, I should've went right to her and told her sooner!" Rachel reassures the doctor that she's not an idiot and those kinds of things can be difficult to open up about sometimes. The doctor uncovers her face and smiles, "It's been so nice meeting you and talking to you about this stuff." Rachel hands the doctor the papers with coping mechanisms and advice on them. She shakes the doctor's hand firmly and says what a pleasure it was to meet her. She wishes the doctor lots luck and informs her that their next few sessions will be practicing some breathing techniques and how to confront someone about feelings. The doctor leaves the office feeling quite happy to be honest and heads back to her Tardis, ready to relax in the Tardis for the night.   
  



End file.
